The One Where the Virginia Mousketeers Win the Game

After announcing in my last post that WVU would easily beat Kansas, I have to admit I was a little nervous that would come back to bite me. Like when I called Geno Smith a lock for the Heisman and our offense unstoppable… and thus began a five game losing streak. Luckily I didn’t jinx anything, and WVU did in fact get an easy 59-10 victory over Kansas. The last half of the game was pretty much just Smith, Austin, and Bailey padding their stats and enjoying playing in Milan Puskar stadium for the last time.

The weather was gorgeous, Senior Day was being celebrated, the opponent was being destroyed, and errybody in the club was gettin’ tipsy. Including, it seems, the announcers. Steve Physioc and Brian Baldinger were manning the broadcasting booth for Fox, and I can only assume the booze was flowing freely, because I honestly have no other explanation for the unprofessional garbage that came out of their mouths.

Let’s see, first we were informed that Morgantown is in Virginia. Really? That seems odd, since the game being played was between the West Virginia Mountaineers and the Kansas Jayhawks. When I was taking US geography back in school (walking a mile in the snow, uphill both ways – no really, it’s true. I’m from West Virginia.), we learned that our great nation has fifty states. Just like there are two Dakotas and two Carolinas, West Virginia is its own separate state from Virginia. And no, it’s not “near Richmond”! The worst part of that mess? Brian Baldinger is FROM PITTSBURGH. He should know better.

And did you know our mascot is a Mousketeer? Did he think he was in Disney World? Did he mean to say “Musketeer”, as in one of the Three?

And our ex-coach is DON Nehlen, not John Nehlen. I would say that this gaffe is easily forgivable, because let’s face it, none of Mountaineer Nation can honestly say they look back fondly at the Nehlen Years. Or as I like to call them, the “Dark Ages”. (Run it up the middle! Run it up the middle! Run it up the middle! Oh, criminy. Just punt.) BUT. You two are professional broadcasters. It is your job to know what you’re talking about and to have your facts straight. Do research, write some notes on a piece of paper and refer to it. Criminy.

Now let me tell you a little bit about West Virginians. We love our beautiful state, we’re fiercely loyal to it, and most of the time your stupid little jokes roll right off our backs. We know we’re “country” and we’re proud of it! Outside at the tailgate and inside during the game, you’re going to hear “Thank God I’m a Country Boy”. When the game is over, win or lose, you’re going to hear “Country Roads”.

Sometime during the 2nd quarter, after a particularly nice TD, “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” started playing and the fans started dancing and singing along. The camera was panning the crowd and stopped on an older fella with a white/salt and pepper beard wearing a WVU sweatshirt and dancing his little heart out. One of the announcers said, “There’s the English professor!” Snort, snort, giggle, giggle.

I put down my beer, looked at my husband, and said, “Did I hear that correctly? I really hope I did not hear that correctly.” But according to my facebook feed, I had, in fact, heard him correctly. It’s like when drunk people think they’re being funny and witty, but really they aren’t. They’re just being annoying and terribly rude.

West Virginia University may not be an Ivy League school, but it’s a good school with many well-respected programs. And I assure you, we have more than one English professor.

This Mountain Mama and the state of West Virginia await your apology, kind sirs.

PS. This post was originally intended to be speculation about which bowl we were going to, but I got a little carried away. It happens. Anyway, the suspense would have ended shortly, since bowl invitations go out tonight. Fingers crossed for a WVU/Pitt Pinstripe Bowl. Or as I’m calling it, the Backyard Brawl Part Deux.

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