One Step Forward. 849 Steps Back.

Well. It was a W, right? Perhaps the ugliest W I’ve witnessed. Started out sorta promising, thinking hey, maybe Case McCoy can get the job done? But, nope. I mean, sure, Texas won by ONE POINT in a game that should not have been so close. However, this game showed once and for all that Texas continues to be among the weakest links in the Big 12. Even the announcers, who were trying to be generous to the program, were confounded at the coaching and play calling by Texas. CONFOUNDED. One announcer kept saying, and I’m paraphrasing, “ This is Texas! What is going on? You’re not the hunter! You’re the hunted! You’re the one being chased! This program has to be better than this!”

Sorry, sir, but they’re simply not.

I’m not going to spend a lot of time on statistics. You can read those on any sports site. Texas was outplayed and outcoached on both sides of the ball. Whatever improvements Greg Robinson made to the defense were washed away with one plane ride to Ames, Iowa. ISU had a banner night. They set a school record for the longest touchdown in their stadium, in their history. The Texas D made Sam Richardson look like Johnny Manziel. They missed tackles, over and over and over. They can’t defend the read option. Guess who runs the read option offense? Everyone.

I don’t even know where to start with the Texas offense. Case McCoy is a great kid. Really, he is. He has a noodle arm and threw his dying quail passes all over the field. Even my stone-cold heart was warmed when Texas scored on that obscene Hail-Mary pass to end the first half. A couple of lucky plays don’t make a good offense. The line wasn’t blocking. Receivers weren’t receiving. And where the heck was Johnathan Gray in the second half? Daje Johnson? Why did McCoy throw about 158 passes in a row when the running game was beginning to click? I have to question Coach Applewhite’s commitment to Sparkle Motion. And by Sparkle Motion, I mean an effective offensive strategy.

The bottom line, fellow suffering ‘Horns fans, is that I’m tired. Tired of the half-hearted attempts on the field. Tired of coaches not coaching. Tired of losing to Oklahoma (get ready; there’s another blowout on the horizon). We’re filled with hope at the beginning of every season—will this be the year Texas gets back in the hunt? But no, it’s never the year. Maybe next year. But next year isn’t it, either.

It’s time, folks. Burn the program to the ground and start over. Considering the performance last night, it’s not much of a loss. The season will not improve from here. Let’s call it a wash, fire everyone, and start from scratch. The Regents can’t be happy with this situation. I know the fans aren’t. And those kids who are playing their guts out on every down certainly deserve better.

OK, so there are a couple of things I wanted to discuss specifically from this game. One is the penalty on Mike Davis. If you have eyeballs, fingers, and access to the Internet, you’ve probably seen at least one story about his late hit on the ISU defensive back Deon Broomfield. Play was over, Texas scored, and for some reason Davis thought it was acceptable to lower his shoulder and drive into the defenseless DB’s knees, knocking him to the ground. That’s how players get injured. Well, one of the ways at least. Davis was penalized, but not ejected. You’ve probably experienced the new head-scratcher of a rule this year where if a player “targets” a defenseless player with the crown of his helmet, he’s ejected. And gets a personal foul on top of it. There’s been a lot of gnashing of teeth and rending of clothing over that new rule already. Davis didn’t get ejected, although that was a flagrant and dangerous foul.

Mack Brown didn’t yell at Davis. He yelled at the refs. Davis didn’t play a whole lot, but he should have been sidelined entirely and given more than a talking-to. With all the other difficulties swirling around the team, like they’re in a giant toilet bowl, this opens the program up to all kinds of criticism. The refs wear burnt orange and white, not black and white! I guess Mack Brown’s check cleared! Texas always gets the calls! Uh, nope. But it doesn’t take much time with the Great Gazoogle to see all the criticism heaped on the program out of that one super horrible decision.

Now let’s talk about those fumbles at the goal line. Johnathan Gray is my spirit animal, but he also fumbled the ball. Twice. And ISU recovered. The TD one play later was truly a gift from the refs. There is a lot of talk today about whether college football allows the play to end due to forward progress; how “down by contact” is mythical; how the ref didn’t whistle the play dead until the ball came out and was recovered by ISU. The game is over and this isn’t like a trial—there’s no appeal to a higher court if you don’t like the verdict. But there’s griping, and accusations. And the criticism, oh the criticism. It’s coming from every direction, including me. And it cheapens the win, as if it weren’t already in the dollar bin at Goodwill, along with one left shoe made of pink pleather and a cracked Nickleback cassette tape.

So burn it down. Right to the ground. This is a program I adore with all my heart. I grew up in Austin and I’ve been a fan as long as I can remember. What’s going on down at the 40 Acres rips out my heart, eats it with fava beans and a nice Chianti, then vomits it up and shoves it back in my chest. I don’t like it. Something has to give.

So for now, it’s me, Debbie Downer, signing off and heading into a weekend where I will drown my sorrows watching other teams win and pretending there is no game coming up on October 12th.

Still, let’s get our horns up—Hook ‘em!

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